It's 2 a.m, and I'm facing the computer not knowing what to do. Total boredom.
Went for shoulders massage with dad and tot along with his mum and aunt. It was really hurting, my shoulders are sore right now. That masseur said that I shouldn't carry baby too often as my shoulders are really very stiff, but what to do, doesn't this occurs to all mothers. I bet those mother in olden days don't even get the chance to get a massage, so I'm already fortunate.

The interest in studies is getting lower when I see clearer of my future. I have to choose between work and kids which I would definitely choose the kids option as that's my true responsibility. It's not that I'll be a housewife or so, just that I don't see the vision of myself being there up high with some high ranking in some big shot company. I only seeing myself having a ordinary job with an ordinary pay but definitely still some significant amount, not amount that just enough to survive with.

I have dreams for my family, not myself, so what does that means? RELIANCE.
What if something goes wrong? I've to rely on myself, start all over again as the priority would be different then. But what to do, life is a gambling game. P/S: There's this kind hearted person who sent me to the MRT station said that my life is destined to be a mistress of someone or a second marriage of my partner. I do not believe him, but it definitely bothers me. Which part of me looks like a mistress of someone? And I LOVE MY FAMILY, MY CURRENT LIFE.<3<3<3 I'm not sure if my husband does, because I'm not him.

Come to think of it, I've not return my working pass to my ex supervisor. Irritating. Maybe I shall nag at my husband to return for me. Hees.

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